I survived a vegetarian lunch and so can you!

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Team, I have never done this before. I feel like it's a confession. I boast about "stepping on out there" and "letting your hair down" but hell, I do more talking than walking. So this weekend I decided to do some ole fashioned work.

Vick and I headed out to the most pretentious burger joint in town, aka Big Orange. This place has grown on me. As we scanned the menu for the right item he went straight for the kill and ordered the Atom Bomb, which I covered last year. I was feeling risky and ordered the Falafel and Lentil Sandwich. It came out with fresh tzatziki and special srirachi junk. Holy mole, I would have never thought a vegetarian sandwich could be so tasty. Look at the picture.

Don't be j.

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Happy Hour Downtown has a little secret

Have you ever thought about the criteria for a good happy hour? I mean some things are obvious, such as cheap drinks, but what about other factors? What about bartender swag, atmosphere, and bar food?

Here we'll review Prost, an unlikely hotspot, which has the potential to do work.
Let's knock this one outta the park.

CHEAP DRINKS
You want em, they got em. Prost is like the foreign exchange student staying in downtown LR. Prost's siblings are Willy D's and Deep, you could say those bars are more like the generic fucked up reason the Taliban hates America. That being said, Prost has a great drink selection. Their bar has tons of liquor and they've got at least 10 beers on tap. So about this happy hour, you'll find $2 wells and $1 off pints. That should get you laid fellas, Palmela Handerson that is.

BARTENDER SWAG
Friday the wolves found two ladies behind the bar. Usually you can fund a bald dude named Thomas but today it was babes. I didn't catch their names but I did catch quick drinks. I didn't hear any jokes but they were attentive and let us enjoy ourselves. I guess I didn't hear any jokes because women aren't funny.

ATMOSPHERE
Prost is in an ideal location Downtown, the problem is that there's a lot of competition to keep it from really catching on. It's connected to Deep and Willy D's so there's a perceived stigma. When you walk in Prost for a happy hour, you'll find it very quiet. There's only a handful of patrons and NO music is playing. It kind of bummed me out. I had to actually interact with strangers for entertainment. Even SportsCenter was on mute. Decor is cool enough as there's rad art on the walls and ceiling. This COULD be a swag place.

BARFOOD
If you say it fast it sounds like barf food. Smart. I used yo associate Prost with brats and that's about it but they are trying to change heir image. While we were bellied up for the duration of happy hour, the barkeep announced that they are changing their menu and would be offering our team complimentary menu items.

Hoof ordered fish and noodles. I tried it and it reminded me of a microwave dinner and a stick of butter. James had a burger and he said it was pretty legit. Lastly, Watson got wings. He said they were good, but there's better in LR. I know this is a shitty food review but I'm shitty.

What it boils down to, Prost has some work to do if they plan on playing in the food game but they are doing the booze game right. Team, do work.

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Wimpy’s Chicken Philly

Conway has some rad burger competition. Amongst the ground beef playas is Wimpy's. It's in the lamest shopping center you've ever seen. But that's the worst part, so that's not too bad.

Wimpy's prides itself on a million toppings, not literally. Their burgs are legit but I had to get something new. Enter Chicken Philly.

I got that junt real crunk. Wing sauce, japs, grilled onions, and reg fixins.

Then I went to my truck and took a nap.

YA'LL

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Valentines Dinner in Dogtown

Shewolf has never stepped foot in Dogtown so I stepped on out there and let my hair down. Valentine's Day Dinner in NLR, it's fucking risky business. Luckily I had a few tricks up my sleeve.

Argenta.

We headed to Crush Wine Bar for a pre-dinner bottle. Starving, we had to crush an appetizer. Smoked salmon on bagel chips are crunk. It didn't technically match the Pinot Noir but it worked.

Then we headed across the street to Starving Artist Cafe. If you've never been there you're missing a gem. The walls are covered in local art and they host a weekly NPR show called Tales from the South, which is short stories from the South.

We got another bottle immediately. Clank and I ordered the same dinner, crab cakes, filet, and creme brule. The crab cakes were covered in crawfish. My problem with this is the quantity, I could have eaten a dozen. Then the filet came out and it was wrapped in bacon. BACON. Unreal. I haven't ordered a steak in some time and, shit, it was awesome. Finally the dessert came out. This was hands down the weakest course. Strawberries and chocolate creme brule, more like chocolate cake icing.

It didn't matter because the wine was speaking to us. It was a great night and I highly recommend you venture across the river.

That's it. Drink some eat some.

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Patty Effing Melt

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I was chowing down in Mayflower at Stroud's. I've mentioned this place before, its a prefabricated metal building filled with blue collars and white hair.

I was craving something light for lunch and talked myself into a sandwich, aka Patty Melt. Basically a burger on toast, so not light at all.

The sandwich was built right, japs, egg, grilled onion, cheese and patty.

Again, if you're in Mayflower and you need some soul food do it.

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Road Trip – New Orleans 2012 – Day 2

It's the week before Mardi Gras, haters are everywhere. I feel like there's a demon inside me. The Krystals from last night and pack of cigarettes weren't a good idea. Neither was the chili cheese lucky dog or the $150 trip to Harrah's. Hangover food is necessary. Let's go.

Perseverance. Determination. Fortitude. Justice. Integrity. Honesty. Loyalty. Benevolence. Fellowship. Brotherhood. Bravery. (Insert inspirational word here)

Team, these words are there for a reason. They trigger the very same emotions I get when I think about …. OYSTERS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING HALF SHELL. Dude, the oysters at Oceana are as big as your fist. And get this, they didn't taste like an oil spill. My stupid ass little cousin was in N.O. for a frat party, smart, and he ordered a crawfish crepe a.k.a. fancy omelet word. It was legit. Crushed a bloody buddy and a few screwdrivers.

Later that day while raging, that demon I mentioned earlier wanted to come out and play. Luckily for me the shitter was clean and vacant. I walk in a lock the door. It's quiet. Then the door opens. In I. The girls bathroom by mistake. They begin tugging on my stall door and ask if anyone is in there. I replied in the girliest voice I could muster. Heart racing, the chicks leave and I race out. Like a boss. I didn't flush.

We raged. Will J. had all of Bourbon Street Chanting "Tits and Clits". I only saw 1 rack the entire time and I think it was a grandma.

Eff. Two days later, the Big Nasty, I mean Big Easy got me sick as fuck. I can and will survive. No more stories. Detoxing as we speak.

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Road trip – New Orleans 2012 – Day 1

"Bachelor Party in New Orleans? Cordova Wolves involved? Are you interested?"

I haven't been to Bourbon Street since junior year of college. Since I don't remember anything but jager and crawfish from that 2005 trip, it's kinda like my first trip to the Big Easy. Only difference is that I have money to spend and I'm 7 years older. Fucking makes me sick.

Here goes nothing.

The Memphis bros rented a short bus. To save time on the road we took interstate piss breaks. Smart. Upon arrival the wolves needed food and booze. N.O. answered with both.

Pizza by the slice, lucky dog, and big ass beers. The pizza was huge. The lucky dog was perfect. The beer was big and cold.

I could give you more details but then I'd have to kill you. Wolfpack 4 Life.

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RLT yeah I said (R)LT

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Don't you love trying new food? I thought I was the king of pork, I'm not hut i am one sandwich closer to pork damnation!

I've covered a few BLT sandwiches here recently but this is a new one. A few hints: It's Irish, it's a sandwich, and it involves a fucking pig. Dugans Pub YO! Obviously I'm talking about the RLT, Rashers Lettuce and Tomato. Now i know you're obviously thinking the next logical step, wtf is a rasher and do i want to eat it. Frankly, I had to Wikipedia that ish.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacon

CTRL+F rashers

Its like country ham. Fuck yes I ate that shit up.

Dugans Pub – RLT

Rashers
Lettuce
Tomato
Fried egg
Grilled onion
Advocado
Mayo
Pepper Jack

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Monsters in(vade) the Rock 25

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Team, shit is getting really real really quick. This monster sighting can be seen from I-30 West Bound tight by the train tracks in NLR. This is the best pic I could grab, check out the tag on the brick building.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

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The Best BLT you’ve never had

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I've got something to share with you.

I'm a big fan of TLA, three letter acronyms. By fav TLA is probably BLT. While some see a BLT as a great and complete sandwich I tend to see it a bit differently. BLT is a rock solid foundation sandwich. Think about it? Three ingredients that compliment each other so well yet there is room for improvement. Look basically I bent over the traditional BLT and butt fucked it.

JJ's in Conway, home to the best Mac and Cheese and great legs in skirts, is where the sandwich sodomy took place. Miss Abby was the waitress, I demanded japs, egg, pepperjack, and guacamole. She complied and presented this fucking masterpiece.

This my friends is the best BLT you've never had.

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SPAMWICH – Midtown Reflection

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It was a celebratory night. The wolfpack closed down Saucer and needed more. More everything. Booze, burgs, etc. Options are limited late night in the Rock. The only logical solution? Midtown.

"7 bucks for a year membership."

You think to yourself this is a bullshit covercharge but you can smell the grease and taste the PBR 2×4's. Its a decision that has to be made, and it's a tough one. Pull your wallet out. Give this goon your debit card. Belly up.

Looking back on my dark days, I spent a many lonely night here at, arguably, the dirtiest bar in the region. I got to thinking about my feelings. I got emotional. Did I miss this place? Did I miss the people? The odor? I came back to my senses. Thomas, the bartender, walked over and took the food order. I promptly ordered the spam egg and cheese with japs.

Here's the answer to the emotions… no, I don't miss that place but damn it's fun late night.

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University Market 4 Corners – Do Work Son Food Truck Madness

THIS IS A GUEST POST FROM T$

Today was the soft opening of the University Market Food Truck Court. The location was an old K-Mart parking lot near UALR.  It might not be the an ideal spot, but the food was on point.  The field included the staples: Hot Dog Mike, Homegrown, Taqueria Samantha, Haygoods BBQ, Red River Catering, Christians Take-Out, Peace Hog Mobile and Papa’s Burgers & Dogs.

My pick was Taqueria Samantha since it was the only authentic Mexican joint. They didn't have a menu, only pictures.  I choose the picture of 3 tacos (ground beef, steak and chicken).  The meat was tender and full of flavor.  The chicken taco was the best.  Fresh onions, tomatoes, verde sauce and a slice of lime only helped the situation. I was completely satisfied with the $5.50 price tag as well.  Another hard working state employee gave the same review for his steak burrito & fries. Yeah I said it, fries with a burrito. Their standard location is in front of Discount Carpet on Geyer Springs, between 65th and Baseline.  Man up and go eat at this taco truck.

Another co-patriot tried Homegrown.  He was not stoked about his two tacos for $12, and the cost ruined his meal.  Haygoods BBQ had a solid chopped pork sandwich with slaw.

There is talk of the University Market Food Court being be a common occurrence during the spring time. Be advised. – T$

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Monsters in(vade) the Rock 24

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This is a guest pic from my shitty friend MikeD. He found it in the Town Pump shitter. Its a very bro move to give me leads on monsters. You can be bro too.

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American Harvest – A launch party you missed and an American Vodka you need to try

About a month ago this weirdo, 1Dougie_Fresh, sent me a direct message on twitter saying "How can I invite FYLR to an event?" My first thought was Craigslist Killer. Oh fuck. Reluctantly i told him to shoot the email address info.

A day layer i had an explanation and invitation in the inbox. It was an invite to a Vodka Launch Party. Free food and booze? I'm obviously in. I got a plus one so Blondie could do two things: Keep me company at this party and pimp the blog.

Turns out 1Dougie_Fresh is not trying to kill me, but inviting FYLR to a legit event to spread the word about a new product.

We arrived to the launch party and it was packed. 100 plus food and drink people from around town. I recognized quite a few restaurateurs and liquor reps from my past life. I tracked 1DF down and he's tall as fuck. He told me about the brand and its got a great story.

American Harvest is an American made and owned Vodka. Distilled up in Oregon Wine Country, they use organic wheat for the spirit. The spirit is distributed by the same guys slinging jager so you know they will get some great placements on the bar.

I went to the bar for my first round and got SheWolf a martini and myself a vodka tonic. The martini was a house drink with a ginger flavor. It was beautiful but Clank did not approve. My VnT on the other hand was great. For a mass produced product you can really still taste the spirit. The spirit wasn't too sharp and the wheat aroma was great with the lemon garnish.

They launched in grand fashion and had a ditty bag for every guest. In the bag was organic soap and literature on the vodka.

My final thoughts is this, if it's priced in line with other vodkas it will win. The package is sound and tastes good. It's Not my favorite spirit ever, that spot is reserved for Brandon's Vodka, but I will drink this again. 

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Grind Mode Wolf Lunch Pump Style

My taco diet has come to an end, and with ends come beginnings. It just made sense. I paged  YDA and he gave me a shout back on my Nokia. "Let's crush beer." he demanded. How could I refuse.

—GRIND MODE—

We went to Pump it up, Wolf Style. Feeling risky, I ordered PBR. What happened next is important so take notes. Andy ordered a SW Burg. He got slaw and onion rings, then he put the rings on the burg. Fuck he's a genius.

I was thinking something light… BLT. Ya but let's add japs, pepperjack, and a fried egg for good measure. Slaw too. The bartender took a bite of my BLT and slid the Tabasco down the bar to me.

In my dark days I would have ordered a pitcher of White Russians and a shot of well tequila. I only miss those days rarely.

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Tacos, Tacos, Tacos, Tacos – Austin, TX

Greetings brothers. I hope this finds you well. Perhaps you are bellied up to your favorite watering hole. Or perhaps you are balls deep in you wolf. Hell, maybe you're at work reading this shit.

So I went to Austin this week for "work". I did work alright… on tacos. Tacos, also know as the Alternate Currency, are important and I'm pissed. There are, literally, taco shops on every corner and are generally legit as fuck. LR has nothing that could hold a match to the taco swag in Austin. I'm not hatin on LR, I'm just hatin on the lack of Taco Joints in our Hood.

You want to be a millionaire? Sell a million tacos. You want to be a zillionaire? Sell a zillion tacos. You want to be my new best friend? Go to Austin, visit the top 5 taco shops, rip them off and make a taco and beer shop in Little Rock.

We can sustain a business of this nature.

BTW, People from Boston are big pussies.

Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen.

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Quote Time re:Midtown

"Midtown is really good at separating drunks from their money, sense and adulthood."

– Stephen Steed, The founder of bottle toss

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Loca Luna is effing cra good yo

Look Son. I'm not fucking playing. All you haters who doubted me can suck it Stone Cold 3:16 style.

Last Friday I was super romantic and what not, and took SheWolf out on the town. I was going to surprise her but she demanded I spill the beans so she dressed appropriately. To her delight we were headed to Loca Luna.

She had never eaten there so she had no idea what to expect. Immediately she liked the atmosphere. We had a small wait to be seated so we bellied up to the bar for a cold round. She got an Apple Martini. APPLE FUCKING MARTINI. I'm not hating, I'm just saying. We were then seated.

Our waitress was hipsteresque and had an admirable piece of ink on her left arm. You gotta love State pride. Bottle service you pricks, yeah that's what happened next. Then appetizers. Holy smokes, crawfish and shrimp in a subtle spicy sticky sauce. It was THAT good.

Now for the entrees. She got trout stuffed with lobster and potato's. I got pork assa buko. I know you genius bros reading this are cursing my spelling because I don't know how to spell the pork dish. It doesn't matter, it should have been called Pork AWESOME Bucko!

It was an awesome dinner. I can't wait to get back there in the spring to pop bottles on that swag patio. F Yeah Patios.

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Monsters in(vade) the Rock 23

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GrahamBitch EVIDENTLY took the day off from her "job" and finally did some work for the blog. She was hunting Monsters Downtown and found a beauty.

Main Street between 7th and 8th.

Do work.
Submit.
Tweak.
Repeat. 

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Bleu Monkey – Hot Springs

Team, our neighbors to the South in Hot Springs has got a Bar and Grill worth your logical time. It's Called Bleu Monkey. It has no relation to Blue Monkey in Memphis. 

Bleu Monkey has a lot of TVs and great bar food. I mean shit team, they might be geniuses. These brainiacs got the bright idea to fry mac and cheese. OMFG BBQ. Speaking of BBQ I got some on a burger, slaw included.

If you have time post Oaklawn, got there and get the fried mac balls. Think twice about the BBQ burger, they should leave BBQ to Whole Hog and keep on killing the bar food appetizers.

Hollar.

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Stickyz Y’all

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, Sticky Fingerz Rock N Roll Chicken Shack is legit son.

Fried Chicken, tons of dipping sauces, and one of my favorite biscuits… that's what you get. Then the food engineers thought, "Hay you's guys, let's dump these chickenz in tortillas." they did it and it is awesome. They also roll great beer specials monthly, I'm talking $2 pints. Not BL and ML but craft beer.

If you want great fried chicken and good beer, take that ass to Stickyz. Downtown fool.

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Root Cafe, Home of Evil Geniuses and a Nasty Good Burger

Back in the day, 2010, I was working in the beer biz over at the local brewery Diamond Bear. As the only production brewery in the State, we got a lot of visitors and even more interesting beer talk.

Some of my favorite customers include a leathersmith biker, an off the grid gold bug, and a ton of beer nerds. Mixed in with all those customers were a ton of restaurateurs. Back then an up and coming caterer would visit us often for kegs of root beer. He always told me about his aspirations to have a sit down restaurant and by God, he made it happen.

Fast forward to now, Jack Sundell is that caterer with big dreams and also he's an Evil Genius. He's opened his restaurant and it's nasty good. This dude sources as much of his goods local as possible. The map below shows all the sources and locations around the State.

I ordered the Swiss Cheeseburger fully loaded and side salad came with it. The bun was made fresh from across the street at Boulevard Bread. Top it off with a South of the Border Coca-Cola. You gotta do a few things team, namely go to Root Cafe and order exactly what I got and also quit giving fucks. Think positive y'all.

Root Cafe, Home of Evil Geniuses and a Nasty Good Burger
"Nasty." Joe Bucwolfser Rodgers

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Can I get some burger with that grease?

Wolves. Do you have standards? Rarely do I say "Yes, I have standards fool.", but today I must talk about standards.

Let's go over some things where standards are relevant: Babes, Booze, Burgers. That's pretty much it. That's all that matters. Live by this my friends, you won't be disappointed.

This brings me to a relevant point, Burgers.

ARKANSAS BURGER COMPANY

I was eating there this weekend with Shewolf. We ordered obligatory burgers. This was her first ABC burger in many years so she opted for the Cheeseburger.

She said "Can I get some burger with this grease?" The burger was sopping wet and fell apart. "Can I get a knife and fork for this thing? They should blend this thing up and serve it on a taco."

She's brilliant.

I ordered the Cap City Burger, shrooms+Swiss. Mine also fell apart but the flavor was on. I've got mixed feelings.

If you dig greasy as f burgers then this is for you. I think I'm good on ABC for a while, at least until Q4.

Final thought: Reinvest in the exterior. This place has zero curb appeal, the paint is chipping and the awning is tattered. C'mon management.

Cheeseburger first.
Cap City second.

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Yankee Doodle Andy doing some country boy work

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Boot Scootin Sooter lives out in Marche.
Boot Scootin Sooter is country as f.
Boot Scootin Sooter raises shit, butchers it, then cooks it.

YDA and I were there for the show.

DWS. Marche, land of the Pol's.

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Monsters in(vade) the Rock 22

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Team,
I should have seen this monster sooner but fuck sake, I'm only one wolf. Located behind Piano Kraft on South Main Street y'all.

Seen any monsters, engage a bro.

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