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Monthly Archives: May 2012
How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse in Little Rock
Team, you have probably heard that Zombies are in fact real. Down in Cuba, I mean Florida, a naked Zombie was shot dead after chomping on a dude’s face. Real sick right.
This was my Halloween Zombie training gear.
For you this means a few what ifs:
1. What if Zombies attack Little Rock?
2. What if I am a Zombie?
3. What if I encounter a Zombie?
4. What if I’ve encountered Zombies at Willy D’s already and I might have/have come in contact with them?
I’d be scared too.
Good news for you, I’ve put together a Little Rock survival guide for Little Rock. Here’s the shit you need and you’ll survive and be prepared for Hunger Games IRL.
FOOD
You’re gonna need food. So here are a few sure fire ideas to get you prepared when shit hits the fan.
Walmart – get to this place maybe like your first stop. They have a ton of food with 100 year shelf life. I would recommend beans, and a lot of them. You might want to pick up pickled items too.
HAM – Hillcrest Artisan Meats is the place where you will be able to learn about aging and curing meats. This will be important for preserving your hunting game. This is a big deal. I would also pickup some of their aged bacon yo.
BOOZE
Things are going downhill fast and you need spirits. You need to go to these places, trust me.
Rock Town Distillery – Yankee Doodle Andy works here and I can assure you there is some quality spirits in the warehouse. You will want to try to secure some of the bourbon they are aging.
Diamond Bear and Vino’s – I am not even a big fan of the booze here but it’s important that you have suds in a freaking apocalypse. The beer is home made at these joints so it will not have a super long shelf life. I would recommend you get here and gank some of the raw materials with a few cases.
Fermentables – Crucial is as crucial does. That doesn’t make sense but what does? Fermentables has all the homebrew essentials, you’ll need to know these skills once you drink your bounty from the other stops.
GEAR/WEAPONS
Bennett’s – This Downtown staple is home to the gear you will need. BDU’s, ammo cans, paratrooper cord, and most importantly MACHETES!
PK Grills – Okay, you might be thinking this is excessive but it’s not. You will want to be grilling in style as the apocalypse grows. What better way to get buc with the home made spirits and hand cured meats than on a Little Rock made PK Grill. Shit is tight.
Final Advice
Team, you need to have a plan and I can’t make that for you nor can I share mine with you. I’ve probably shared too much. What I can say is watch out for zombies and watch out for Monsters.
Cow Tongue Tacos – need I say more
Feeling exotic and living in Conway? You like Mexican and you're ready to let down your hair down? Get your ass to La Princessa on Harkrider.
La Princessa is the least glamorous place you can imagine. Picture 15 or so tables, no decor, no music. That's it. Then the food comes out. You're gonna get served quickly and you're also gonna get Verde and Red sauce in squeeze bottles.
I ordered 3 tacos; Chorizo, Pork, and Lingua aka cow tongue.
The chorizo was on point.
The pork was less than mediocre.
The lingua was weird. Like frenching a bunch is small squishy tongues. I kept reliving the moment, chewing the lingua, small almost barfing over and over. FYLR, more like FMLR. I'll try lingua again, just at a different place. Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen. You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
The pork was less than mediocre.
The lingua was weird. Like frenching a bunch is small squishy tongues. I kept reliving the moment, chewing the lingua, small almost barfing over and over. FYLR, more like FMLR. I'll try lingua again, just at a different place. Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen. You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
Monsters in(vade) the Rock 36
Spotted in the Heights, Woozel be taggin. Right by boulevard bread.
Send me your monsters.
You’ve got a new breakfast joint to visit.
We both knew that Korean place in the Heights was gonna close its doors. It happened. Now there's a breakfast joint up in there, Early Bird.
Early Bird is what you'd expect from a restaurant in the Heights, great food and made with love. It's not simply bacon and eggs, the menu has some secret sauce.
The pancakes were made with poppy seeds and served with fresh fruit. They tasted as good as they look.
I got huevos rancheros and could not have been happier. The black beans were served with rice and sausage. A fresh avocado accompanied the dish. To tip it off, the waitress asked if I wanted a side of Christmas, i said yes without hesitation. Out came a 3 spot dish filled with red and green salsa. BBBBAAAAMMMM!!!!
Fml, the bloody Mary was righteous too. Never ending coffee obviously.
Are you gonna visit this place? You should. If not, eff yourself.
Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen.
You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
Monsters in(vade) the Rock 35
Here's to a puke-fest rager weekend.
Thanks again for the motivation Woozel.
Submit yo monsters yo.
The official most pretentious bar in Little Rock
I can't believe it took me 5 years to discover the official most pretentious bar in Little Rock. You've probably been here and you probably thought the same thing, unless you're pretentious and this is your watering hole of choice.
It's Ciao Baci of course.
Let's paint the picture. I was not prepared for this place, actually I was wearing the proper uniform for Ciao Baci, a fucking pink polo. Pink? Yeah it's in my closet. Hate me please.
It was a Friday night and the place was crawling with Bros. Walking up to this Home turned into bar, you are greeted with an excellent patio. It's the kinda patio you want to sit on and drink a ton of liquor and smoke a shit ton of cigarettes, at least that's what I wanted/did.
When you walk in there's a lot of seats and a beautiful bar. The bad news is that Friday night is elbow room only. Not like that's a bad thing but it took a while to get the barkeep pouring for you. Luckily Shewolf had her "assets" at the bar and got the booze flowing.
As you look around you're surrounded. Assholes everywhere. One small pisser for all these pricks too. The owner of the bar was there til last call. You know she runs a tight ship. I didn't look at my tab but I can promise you vodka tonics will rape your wallet of life.
Will I go back here? Probably at some point but I'm a do my best to avoid at all costs.
Now, FO.
Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen.
You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
Post Travs pre Cregeen’s
Then pump then sleep then Riviera Maya happened.
Bucolfser and Shewolf
FYI
Another day at the office.
Monsters in(vade) the Rock 34
Right outside the Saucer is this nasty compilation. Looks like "The Man" is hating on Woozel. I would've loved to catch this bird fresh.
Righteous. Little Rock. Monsters.
Take the streets y'all.
Crunkin Kosher Dogs
What are you supposed to do at a Jewish Food Festival?
You get nasty on effing Kosher Dogs. Crush latkes too.
Rivermarket is obviously a good host for events like this. In case you were wondering, I didn't get down on the gluten, Yankee Doodle Andy did work.
Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen.
You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
Monsters in(vade) the Rock 33
Rivermarket is plastered. I don't mean wasted, I mean tagged the eff up with monsters. Woozel at it again. I got a few more in queue but I'm a roll em out over next week.
Keep your eyes peeled folks.
Special thanks to Madame Flaming for the pic.
Check his blog out: http://www.mediamarines.com
Typical Saturday
As a gluten free prick it's kinda tough to find grub. Luckily, potatos and vodka are on my to eat list. So it was a typical Saturday morning, I was feeling like Puff Daddy, also typical, and I headed over to Dugan's. (across the street).
What's a great pre-rage recipe for success you ask?
Corned beef and hash, VnT. My only advice is to gtfo. Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen. You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
Corned beef and hash, VnT. My only advice is to gtfo. Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen. You're opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
This is how to golf in the Rock
Burns Park is great for biking, dog parks, picking up babes, grilling, and golfing, but most importantly, it's built for Icing Bros.
Congrats on not being a bro Brett and abandoning the brohood for a effing wife. She is a babe though.
Monsters in(vade) the Rock 32 – Fayetteville sighting
Woozel has hit the road. Grahambitch snapped this monster in Fay. Side street off Dickson son. This is going global and by global I mean state-wide.
Stay sharp team.
NSFW Burger
This is how you make burgers in LR.
Look at the size.
Look at that meat.
Look at those curves.
Look at that meat.
Look at those curves.
Look at these BBQ nachos and get jelly on me.
BBQ ROFL WTF
You are speaking my language. The language of pulled pork excellence. You know what makes this bro jacked with excitement, japs.You want to step your BBQ game up then you gotta drive 2 hours East to Memphis and take your silly ass to Central BBQ. Next order the BBQ nachos, get japs with them then head out to the patio and do work.It’s logical and it’s the right thing to do.Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen.
You are speaking my language. The language of pulled pork excellence. You know what makes this bro jacked with excitement, japs.You want to step your BBQ game up then you gotta drive 2 hours East to Memphis and take your silly ass to Central BBQ. Next order the BBQ nachos, get japs with them then head out to the patio and do work.It’s logical and it’s the right thing to do.Have a great place we should visit? Let us know, offer to buy us a drink, and we can probably make it happen.
You’re opinion is probably wrong but leave a comment anyway.
