Some weird epiphany happened tonight as I prepared some potato soup. I spread generous amounts of the liquid gold on top, the man on the bottle was staring at me. Smiling. Staring me in the face. Did I just spread his seed on my soup?
I was headed to Starbucks a couple weeks ago and passed by Hypnotic Donuts. It was a typical Saturday morning for me but it looked like something rad was happening at hypnotic donuts as I passed by. The line was down out door. I was very curious at this point. It wasn’t until a week later that I ventured back to see what all the hype was about.
I headed there with the wolf queen. I had no expectations, but yet again, the line was out the door. “This must be some crunk donuts.”
I went for the Peace’stasio. It’s brown sugar frosting, pistachios, and a cake donut. I’m pretty kissed it took me 29 years to eat this. It was balanced AND awesome. Not too sweet and not too nutty, salty.
The big surprise for me was the chicken biscuits. I thought I was in a donut shop, I didn’t realize I was about to eat the largest chicken biscuit of my life. Kaye’s Chicken Biscuit comes with whipped cream cheese, pepperjack, and japs. This didn’t exceed expectations but was very good. It wasn’t the top 5 biscuits, or fried chicken, but together the whole package was good.
This place is definitely special. It’s a place I will continue to bring out of towners and a guilty pleasure for a lazy Saturday.
I bet you don’t say to yourself, “I bet Dallas has the best local Italian grocery store.” Fact: Dallas has the best local Italian grocery store. If you are smart enough to find this place (hint: use the internet) you’ll be very jacked. You’ll have to walk a block from your parking spot because parking is a bitch but the store itself is jam packed full of imported Italian and local foods. At the back of the shop the artists crank out traditional Italian meats and cheeses. There you’ll also find a big sandwich counter.
I asked the young man behind the counter for his favorite sandwich but he named 3 sandwiches, not much help. I said, “Gimme the biggest underdog on the menu, you know the sandwich that doesn’t get enough respect.” He chose the muffaletta for me. He said it’s ooo rd on olives on olives. The sandwich was as big as a plate and loaded with meats, olives and oil. I had leftovers it was so big. The good news is that it tasted as good the next day as it did the first. Eat here.
Callfornia and Philly rolls are a dime a dozen in this town. Seems like there is sushi restaurants all over the place. Not quite as dense as Tex-Mex, ok not near as dense.
I stumbled upon Little Katana Friday night and that was the best stumble I’ve made in a while. It was jamming so hard, we had to stand at the bar 45 minutes Friday night. When we finally got seated our waiter made some awesome recommendations. As we waited for the sushi, we were entertained by a birthday party slamming sake bombs.
My favorite roll was the Papa Roll. It is all meat rolled in soy paper, topped with a paper this lemon slice. It was crab and salmon on the inside with tuna on top. I’ve never had a roll garnished with citrus like that. Pretty rad.
When you’re in New Orleans getting crunk as hell you don’t have to try very hard to find good food. On the flip side, there a shit ton of tourist trap mediocre food joints too. Last time I was in town I queried “badass local food New Orleans”. A couple minutes later I found my self plugging in coordinates to Boucherie. Hell, I don’t even know what part of town it’s in. It’s a house converted into small eatery. The largest table they can accommodate is a 12 top.
Logically I ran straight to the bar. The barkeep knew his shit. He said I needed to get their balls in my mouth. I will literally let Boucherie teabag me all day. The boudin was that crunk. It came out with a Carolina style vinegar bbq hot sauce which complimented the boudin.
I pounded a couple Scrimshaws and savored the balls and needed more. The barkeep instructed me to try the greens. OMFG. That means Oh My Fucking Greens. They were hands down #1 all-time greens.
The only bad thing about this place was the price, which is negligible as the food is hand crafter local dopeness. Eat here.
Since I moved the wolf queen to Dallas this summer I’ve been to the Porch twice now. It’s not that I love the menu, or the hour wait to eat on Saturday. I’ve been back twice because the food has been on point and the atmosphere is good. Thanks, Knox Henderson.
The first time I went I was very pumped about the calimari. It came with banana peppers and that shot is alright by me.
The bad news about my first visit was the fact that there is a stupid conspiracy going on at the porch. I had a couple employees tell me the Mac N Cheese was off the chain. Furthermore, I saw a few tables chowing down on the cheesy pasta. I feel like a chump, I took the bait and ordered the “legendary” side dish. I was pretty disappointed when I got maccaroni with cheese and diced pieces of ham. Yall, I am not a mac and cheese aficionado, but I am a brilliant expert on the matter and I declare this dish a sham.
They’ve got a beer selection that is decent at best. Please note the ugly pug and wolf queen.
I finally wised up and ordered something tats hard to fuck up, a burger. I went the standard wolf route which includes a fried egg on that junt. It was so good. It might have been all the vodka and water talking but I remember it vividly. The egg yolk was runny and everything about the burger was spot on. The stars were in alignment.
Wolf Queen was preggers when we ate here. This meant I was eating with a picky eater. She opted for a classic grilled cheese and tomato soup. She said it was the best grilled cheese ever.
I think the pros outweigh the overhyped mac n cheese all day. I will go back here again for sure.
You’re probably Southern if you’re reading this, if you’re not you wish you were. Since you’re Southern you love Fried Chicken. This is like an inalienable right or something. In every city you travel you seek out the best Fried Chicken.
Team, I’ve found the best damn Fried Chicken in Dallas. Those of you in the Dallas food scene know exactly what I’m talking about, Sissy’s Southern Kitchen. It’s located conveniently in Knox Henderson.
I headed there for Lunch a week ago and had one of the best customer service experiences and best meals I’ve had in Texas. I was blown away by the charming southern decor. The bar was beautiful and had a classic drink list. Ben, my waiter took extra time to educate me on the menu and helped guide me to a superior meal.
I started the meal with the fried green tomatoes topped with scrimp and roumalade. It was one of those starters where you’re like “I could eat that every stinkin day.”
Ben instructed me that they are known for fried chicken. Before he was done telling me about how they pressure fry the chicken and use secret herbs for seasoning, there was no doubt in my mind that is be trying the legendary fowl. Dark meat only son.
The fried okra was speaking to me and it complemented the meal. As if there was any doubt.
Lastly it was a certain shewolf’s birthday. The decision to order the award winning chocolate cake was a nobrainer. It was fluffly like angel clouds topped with caramel and homemade whipped cream sitting atop peanut butter.
Your mouth is watering. All I know is that I want to meet Foodbitch and get in on her free dinner ticket!
When I say to people “I could live in New Orleans”, it’s usually followed by mixed reactions. Usually something like “Are you crazy?” or “Yeah, if I was 21 and YOLO and blow were a constant.”. But I’m for real. The food and music are enough to make me want to sink my teeth into the fabled city.
I was in town a week ago and found myself on Magazine Street, aka Uptown. This is the part of town where the cool kids hang out smoking cigarettes and talking like they know about Voltaire and shit. The good news about uptown is the direct correlation between cool kids and good food. You see, cool kids follow money and money follows good food.
Nestled on a standard 100 year old corner is La Petite Grocery. You’d think it’s nothing special from the street but your opinion will change upon your first step through the door. Think Antebellum meets France. I made my way to the bar at lunch. It was a tuesday and the place was relatively dead. I had the bartenders full attention. I demanded Iced Tea and to hear aboutut the specials, which I can’t even remember because I was instructed to order the burger and stfu. Sometimes you’ve got to know when to foolow directions.
The burger came out shortly there after and didn’t disappoint. In classic New Orleans form, the bread wad fluffly like a cloud and the meat was flavorful and juicy. It came with A special sauce aka mayo and chipotle something but the kicker was the fried egg and home made pickles. I savored every bite. The house cut French fries disappeared quickly as well.
I think you know what I am thinking but I’ll say it anyways… this place was great, it’s just what you would expect when you cook with love and great ingredients. You could certainly come here for business because it was very quiet at lunch and it won’t break the bank. I would come here again, but the problem is that there is literally too many places to try in NOLA so I might never step foot in here again. Then again, I might.
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I went back….
My sights were set on sweets but salt was calling my name. My sweet choice was Chocolate Lab. A glorious combination of chocolate custard, Oreo, chocolate fudge and a fucking cherry on top. It was better than it sounds.
Then I addressed the salt craving… Frito Chili Pie. I’m thinking this will be legit. How do you fuck up a chili pie? I can tell you how in one word, CELERY SALT! Effff. Nothing against celery salt but this is one of my least favorite things… on earth. I hate to keep digging but the chili was lack luster and the cheese was blah. I was disappointed and threw it in the trash after a few bites.
I’m gonna give Scoop Dog a shot with the hot dogs, if that fails it’ll be a dessert hunt only.
Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.
I’m really pleased to recommend Local Lime out in Promenade. You know I hate WLR but fuck it’s worth it.
I went 2 weeks ago and all expectations were met and exceeded. I was almost pissed how good this place was operated. Leave it to those bright mother fuckers behind Zaza’s and Big Orange to kill it!
I got chorizo tacos. Team, they were so good. I am used to chorizo being real greasy but I was told they strain it 4 times to eliminate grease. They topped the tacos with pineapple. Pretty noble imho.
Shewolf ordered scrimp tacos. They came out with black beans to die for. They got eaten.
My favorite part of the meal was the chips and salsa. You get 3 out of 5 choices on the salsa. We got green, 5 Chiles, and classic. #HYFR.
My advice is to go here early and often, engage a bro. Hats off Local Lime, the bar has been raised.
Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.