Category Archives: Uncategorized

The second best tamales in town

I’m having a personal dilemma that involves self esteem, morale, swag, and tamales. I feel like I’m the fucking king of tamales but I know there’s got to be competition. I’ve tried a bunch of ‘em, and I’m happy about that. I still feel empty, I still want more.

I was down in Hot Springs over the weekend and had an unremarkable conversation with a local who was raging on and on about Izzy’s tamales. I did research via Yelping, Urbanspooning, and FoodSpotting and came to the conclusion that this place was worth a trip out to dreadful WLR. 30 minutes later in way the fuck out Hwy 10 and arrive.

Izzy’s is a quintessential family restaurant, not a place to go on a date or have a beer. The staff is cheesy, the atmosphere is weak and they push tea on you. Ok whatevs. I was there for tamales. FYI did you know tamales in singular for is tamal?

I ordered salsa to start this party. I’m thinking this is going to be legit and I could ha e never been more wrong. It literally looked and tasted like the genius chef opened a can of tomatoes and dumped it in a bowl with some cilantro. Probably the shittiest salsa in town or at least the Tri-Star area.

After my expectations were crushed I. The salsa department I ordered the Tamale Platter. It came out with two tamales, a small bowl of queso and bowl of chili. The chili was unremarkable, just a solid chili. Next I tried the queso which was no fucking joke. I’m ranking it top 3 in LR, right below Dizzy’s. Now for the crescendo, the tamales. I sliced in and took a bite. The masa was tender but kept its form. The shredded beef was mild but flavorful. The combination was good but a little too much masa:beef ratio. Overall I thought it was the best in town… except mine. I would definitely eat these again but you can bet I’m not going into cheesy Izzy’s for a dinner.

My final thought is they could seriously cook with more love. The salsa is trash and the chili a waste of potential. Eat the tamales, get extra queso, and for the love of crunkness, take this ish home to eat!!!

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

Monsters in(vade) the Rock – 56

Team Woozy is at it again. You can see this radsterpiece on Markham and Chester.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

Proof a Redneck God might exist

I’m not some bro hunter sportsman but that doesn’t mean I don’t get crunk as hell when I’m presented an opportunity to crush venizen. That’s a fancy word for deer meat. Over the holiday I was given a couple pounds of ground deer meat and I’ve been sitting on it since then. My coworker hooked me up and he’s been hustling me to create something noteworthy.

It’s as if Devine light from KC’s atop a CJ7 were blasting down upon me.

I present you with deer tamales. Yes, it took a couple pain staking hours but eff it was worth it.

I’d share the recipe but I’d lose my business idea.

Fried Chicken and Waffles and Shrimp and Grits and Waffles

There’s things you’re ashamed of doing and things you’re ashamed of not doing. For example, I’m ashamed of that one time at Midtown and no, I can’t tell you details. Here’s the one thing I’m ashamed of not doing… eating motherfucking fried chicken and waffles. Good thing I like to knock shit off my bucket list.Shewolf and I went to B-Side over the weekend for some brunch. She’d never heard of it, so it was a treat for her. I love taking her, well anyone, to a good eat for their first time. One of the first things you’ll notice at B-Side is the local art on the walls. We dove into the menu guns ablazing.

You’ve got to appreciate the menu. It’s got hash, eggs, and other classics. Then the chef got drunk and said, “Ay mane! Lemme fry some chicken up in dis junt, then we slap that ish up in between some waffles! Aight?” I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.

Shewolf decided to express her inner Cajun and ordered shrimp and grits, with a side waffle. Now listen up, the shrimp and grits were on point. They looked good and tasted good. Eat these. My one complaint was they were not warm enough. As for that waffle, it was rock hard. Not in a good way.

Now for that Southern Fried Crunkness… drumroll please. Okay no fireworks. I don’t have anything remarkable to report here. While the fried chicken and waffles were beautiful, they tasted lackluster. I think they are a rad menu addition but I felt like they had no soul. The chicken was a boneless breast with a very bland breading. Pretty disappointed. The waffle was just like I said before.

My final thought: I still like this place. It is good and I’m rooting for it. I will go here again but I’ll won’t be ordering Chicken and Waffles.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

This Mexican restaurant is stepping their game up

Being a genius from the South, it’s common knowledge that Mexican restaurants are a dime a dozen. If I had a nickel for every Mexican restaurant I pass daily, I’d have enough to stop end eat a shit ton of tacos.

You know there’s new taco competition in town, out in WLR. Local Lime is serving up gourmet Tex-Mex with fucking supremacy. This has unintended but outstanding consequences. As a result of said supremacy, taco incumbents had to step their game up.

As a native Memphian, I grew up on queso from El Porton. I seriously have a friend named Wooster who ate the white queso from El Porton with a spoon. We went their often to say the least. Back to my point, I went to The Porton over the weekend and I was flabbergasted by the menu.

The only way I can put this is that El Porton changed their menu, I mean they turned the swag on and classed the fuck up. A quick glance over the menu and you’ll notice the type face and design is noticeably more glamorous. They’ve organized it and have tapas. TAPAS. Is there anything more classy than tapas? I mean really! A dedicated tacos page, more pork, more and better everything.

Shewolf and I went for tacos. The bar has been set around town so it wad time to square up the pot. She ordered shrimp tacos. They came out with a pop of purple cabbage. Generous portions of shrimp adorned the corn tortillas. She didn’t share a single bite.

I ordered chorizo and carnitas tacos. The chorizo wasn’t too greasy and had a great flavor. I dressed it with Valentinas. The carnitas was really good. Large tender chunks of pork seasoned right dressed with pico and fresh japs. Team, the tacos were no joke.

Looking back, I am ready to go back to El Porton. You will be seated quickly and have a fantastic meal. While it is not operated like Local Lime nor does it use the same caliber of recipes, El Porton does deserve a spot amongst top local Mexican fare.

Later y’all. You can probably find me balls deep in a bottle of Tapatio or snorting a line of Cholula.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

Hot Sauce Bombers

Two of the most boss hog hot sauces from south of the Border. Bombers are the perfect size bottle because you can clearly show everyone how much business you mean.

How to make one of the best burgers in town even better

You know the key attributes of a great burger. You’re thinking juicy big meat, warm hearty bread, fresh veggies, topped with the right sauce. A great burger is truly a work of art. If you read this often you are well aware we have Andy Warhol Burger King working out in dreadful WLR. Yes, he works at Big Orange in Promenade.

I went out west just before the holiday season for a visit, a fix for that glamorous burger they serve. As I entered Big Orange I noticed the specials board. In bright chalk was written CHILI BURGER. I know there must be an evil genius in the kitchen because that’s exactly what I was craving and evil geniuses think alike.

As I was seated a sweet little stoner came to take the order. I browsed the beer list and thought I was dreaming. A couple months back I was out in Seattle and I was convinced I’d discovered the best damn gluten free beer on Earth, made by Omission. Fast forward to Big Orange and what do you know, Omission Pilsner is staring me down. I ordered a few.

Once the beer was in hand the sweet stoner girl took my Chili Burger order, japs and mustard involved. You know Big Orange is a well oiled machine, the food came out quick. It was a beautiful burger. Its size and shape were that of a Pedigree Hound. The aroma more satisfying than a tamale shop. It made a beautiful PBM. The Big Orange operators are on point.

What do you think of this place? Can you name a more consistent delicious burger? Do you love bacon? Want to collaborate? Got any big ideas? Wanna be friends? Let me know in the comments.

Grindhouse M-Town

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Grit and grind and swag and stunnaz.

Home to Super Griz, the most epic mascot in the NBA. Thanks to ZBo, Tony, Marc, and Rudy for a win against the Nuggets last week.

Watch out for them ragamuffins.

From the road – Local On the Square

Madison Avenue is one of my favorite strips of asphalt in the effing world. It’s scattered with some of the oldest and dirtiest watering holes in which I’ve stepped foot. You’ll find your way to Overton Square at the corner of Cooper and Madison. My parents tell me this was the raddest place in Memphis in the 70′s and 80′s. Now it’s home to a new restaurant, Local on the Square.

Local on the Square is just what Midtown Memphis needed, a clean bar/restaurant with robust beer list and food menu. I’m no Michael Jackson or Anthony Bourdain but this place has it going on.

I ordered a Yazoo Rye Porter to wet the whistle. You know I try to stay gluten free but damn it’s tough knowing I am missing so many flavors in this world. I’m glad I ordered it because my tongue needed a good slapping.

As for my meal I got the Chorizo Bolognese and gouda grits with poached eggs. I had to literally write that down because there’s no way I’d remember that post holiday. The meal came in one of those baby skillets. I fucking love baby skillets. A couple poached eggs lay on top of grits covered in a red sauce. I dove in. The concoction was balanced. The egg yolks were runny and made the grits so gouda. You see what I did there… I’m no local anymore but The Local is a place you’ve got to visit. Be warned, they are proud of the food, but the quality and atmosphere is worth a trip.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

From the road – Memphis, The Elegant Farmer

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I had the pleasure of dining at an outstanding restaurant over Christmas break in Memphis. The family visited The Elegant Farmer located on Highland right down from Buster’s liquor. This place is operated by the gentleman who used to run McEwan’s which was a rad steakhouse back in the day. The Elegant Farmer reminds me of Loca Luna meets Root Cafe. It was a great southern menu made with local produce. The atmosphere was warm and business casual. Staff was friendly and intelligent. I ordered the catfish over mashed cauliflower with brussel sprouts. It was in a word remarkable. I ate and sovored every morsel. The cauliflower was reminiscent of southern style mashed potato’s and the sprouts were spot on. The catfish was tender with a citrus glaze. The menu was not too pricey, a place you could bring your grandpa on his birthday or a significant other for a nice evening. If I lived in Memphis I’d go here often! Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments. Eat local.

Lucero is upon us, tonight we pillage

Get your drinking boots ready.

Dolmades Plate crunking culture to the max

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You are probably asking yourself “Am I cultured?”. You’re probably reassuring yourself affirmatively. Ask yourself this, do you even know how awesome dolmades taste? Probably not. The good news is you can take my advice and get some culture in your life. You know what Taziki’s is? Of course. You know they’ve got dope gyros and salads. Time to branch out. Belly up to the counter and demand they serve you a Dolmades Plate. You’ll get a lil drunk salad, a pita chip, and 4 dolmades. Now, what’s a dolmade? All I can tell you is it’s rice wrapped in a grape leaf, then grilled, then awesome. It’s a light alternative to gyros that’ll gives your taste buds a tug job. Eat this y’all. Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments. Eat local.

Don’t eat the chili pie, do eat the custard

I reviewed Scoop Dog a few weeks ago and I still believe this is an epic sweet tooth remedy. Last time I was there the food menu caught my eye.

I went back….

My sights were set on sweets but salt was calling my name. My sweet choice was Chocolate Lab. A glorious combination of chocolate custard, Oreo, chocolate fudge and a fucking cherry on top. It was better than it sounds.

Then I addressed the salt craving… Frito Chili Pie. I’m thinking this will be legit. How do you fuck up a chili pie? I can tell you how in one word, CELERY SALT! Effff. Nothing against celery salt but this is one of my least favorite things… on earth. I hate to keep digging but the chili was lack luster and the cheese was blah. I was disappointed and threw it in the trash after a few bites.

I’m gonna give Scoop Dog a shot with the hot dogs, if that fails it’ll be a dessert hunt only.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

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Hands down best taco in town

I dream tacos. I calculate dollar value in terms of tacos, 1 taco = $1. Get it. I will own a taco truck in my life, possibly a taqueria. It will happen.

I’m really pleased to recommend Local Lime out in Promenade. You know I hate WLR but fuck it’s worth it.

I went 2 weeks ago and all expectations were met and exceeded. I was almost pissed how good this place was operated. Leave it to those bright mother fuckers behind Zaza’s and Big Orange to kill it!

I got chorizo tacos. Team, they were so good. I am used to chorizo being real greasy but I was told they strain it 4 times to eliminate grease. They topped the tacos with pineapple. Pretty noble imho.

Shewolf ordered scrimp tacos. They came out with black beans to die for. They got eaten.

My favorite part of the meal was the chips and salsa. You get 3 out of 5 choices on the salsa. We got green, 5 Chiles, and classic. #HYFR.

My advice is to go here early and often, engage a bro. Hats off Local Lime, the bar has been raised.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

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One of my favorite rolls in LR – House Cucumber at Sekisui

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YOLO! It’s when you are out of money and still go for sushi. Sekisui’s got happy hour on weekdays, $2 per plate. The list isn’t huge but it’s still worth while.

Since you don’t have any money you won’t be eating the roll pictured, but you should donate some blood or give tug jobs in the park because it’s that good.

It’s the House Cucumber off the sushi list. Don’t order the cucumber roll, it’s the HOUSE CUCUMBER. You will thank me.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

So I made more tamales

Nothing new here just wanted to brag and what not.

If you’re not my friend, you probably want to be.

Green chicken tamales with poached eggs and fresh avocado.

Takes like 3 hours but its totally worth it with a wolf pack and a bottle of TN whisky.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

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Mythical Creature in Conway, not the stupid wompus cat

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It’s like seeing an albino deer or something majestic like a liger only it’s a fucking unicorn car, behold the Trans Am.

Thanks Conway.

BBQ Tacos – Bumpy’s WLR

You know it sounds brilliant. Take two food icons and remix that ish. Real talk, tacos and BBQ. I was cruising WLR, regretfully, and saw a Texmex hunt called Bumpy’s. Chalk that up for the to eat list. It got eaten last week.

It’s law to eat queso at texmex junts so I did what I had to do. It was yellow and pretty yum. Portions was right and the colored chips were patriotic. The queso wasn’t revolutionary but edible.

Shewolf got the shrimp quesadilla. Again, it was good but that’s it. There were no leftovers on her plate.

I went for the BBQ tacos. While my hopes were very high, I was disappointed. I feel like you need to leave BBQ to BBQ bros and tacos to taco bros. The flavor was aight but tasted like it came from a package. I ate it all but left unfulfilled.

Team, if you are craving mediocre texmex hit up Bumpy’s. It won’t break the bank but don’t come in with high expectations.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

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Monsters in(vade) the Rock – 55

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Team, where have they been hiding? This bastard monster was seen behind Sticky Fingerz. Tri Delta and all. Woozel, keep it up.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

Brussel Sprouts proper

Slice in half
20 min 425 – Place in baking sheet in bacon grease covered with foil
Take out
10 min 425 – chicken stock in the pan
10 min 425 – Stir salt red pepper rosemary thyme stir balsamic
While the above is cooking, In skillet cook bacon and onions and garlic.
Now add the skillet to top of brussel sprouts. Add parmesan.

Have a great place we should visit, let us know in the comments.

Eat local.

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