I feel like a real asshole even typing the word pretentious. In fact, I just learned/think I learned what it means. It’s in the same category as empathy, which I don’t fully understand its meaning nor origin. NORIGIN. I just made that word up.
That being said, last weekend I had the pleasure of patronizing the most pretentious sushi restaurant in town, Sushi Cafe. Here are some facts about Sushi Cafe and the surrounding area in a really long run-on sentence. Sushi Cafe is located in The Heights which is home to liberals, hipsters, and rich people who rarely venture down Cantrell Hill and certainly never across the river to NLR because that’s Dogtown and it’s fucking trash and the property in The Heights is really expensive and the kids drive golf carts they have a DOG BAKERY and Sushi Cafe plays top 40 hip hop and R&B which is ironic because hipsters liberals and rich people hate that music. The Sushi at this place is top notch. My plate and beer and edamame, $35. Quail Eggs, Red Snapper Nigiri, Tuna Roll. and Salmon Sashimi y’all. If you are pissed off at your money and want to burn it, you could do it here easily. You want to break into your woman’s pants? Take her here. If that doesn’t work, chloroform.
